Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Take 100% Responsibility for Your Life
There is only one person responsible for the quality of the life you live - that is you.
Most of us have been conditioned to blame something outside of ourselves for the parts of our life we don't like. We never want to look at where the real problem is - ourselves.
If you want to be successful, then you will have to give up blaming & complaining and take total responsibility for your life.
If you realize that you have created your current condition, then you can uncreate and recreate them at will.
You have to take the position that you have always had the power to make it different, to get it right, to produce the desired result.
Everything you experience in life is the result of how you have responded to a previous event. If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep on getting what you've always got.
You create/ allow everything that happens to you. By create, you directly cause something to happen by your actions/ inaction.
How to take 100% responsibility of your life?
1. Give up blaming
2. Give up complaining
3. Replace complaining with making requests & taking actions that will achieve your desired outcomes.
4. Don't allow things to happen by our inaction & unwillingness to do what is necessary to create/ maintain what we want.
Most of us have been conditioned to blame something outside of ourselves for the parts of our life we don't like. We never want to look at where the real problem is - ourselves.
If you want to be successful, then you will have to give up blaming & complaining and take total responsibility for your life.
If you realize that you have created your current condition, then you can uncreate and recreate them at will.
You have to take the position that you have always had the power to make it different, to get it right, to produce the desired result.
(Event + Response = Outcome)
You can blame the event for your lack of results.
You can blame the event for your lack of results.
OR
You can change your response to the event until you get the outcome you want.
Everything you experience in life is the result of how you have responded to a previous event. If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep on getting what you've always got.
You create/ allow everything that happens to you. By create, you directly cause something to happen by your actions/ inaction.
How to take 100% responsibility of your life?
1. Give up blaming
2. Give up complaining
3. Replace complaining with making requests & taking actions that will achieve your desired outcomes.
4. Don't allow things to happen by our inaction & unwillingness to do what is necessary to create/ maintain what we want.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Problem: Don't like my present job
Root Causes:
1) Not doing what a buyer do such as negotiating with suppliers, source for new suppliers, ....etc
Devil: A buyer should monitor inventory and source for materials. However, I have no authority to monitoring stock inventory. Buyer should also negotiate with suppliers on price, payment terms, and etc. I requested training in negotiation skills but I was rejected and informed that negotiation is done by the Directors in our company. It makes me feel that I am just doing administrative work in a purchasing department.
2) No progress & doing menial tasks like paperwork, follow up, pass documents, ...etc
Devil: After working for 3years, started to feel boring with the work. I need to do small things like photocopy, pass documents, ...etc. There are also times where she needs to prove her superiority. She will ask me to do some minor thing like collect documents from A but then she will pass the documents to B who sit just a little bit further away from A. She can actually do it herself.
God: She is the boss. She has the authority to request me to do things. No matter how minor/ trivial it is. She is using the delegation skills efficiently.
3) Dislike superior
Devil: Everything is email, email & email. I'm just sitting next to her and she still needs to email to me simple messages. She even emails when she ask for help to take away food. I understand that important messages have to be in black&white but sometimes also need to speak/ talk. Please don't expect everyone will face the PC all the times. I begin to hate/ dislike her when she tell us (subordinate) not to do A, B, C..etc. But we saw her do A, B, and C. Example is she commented if her subordinate talked on the phone for more than 10minutes but she herself can talked on the phone for 1 hour (not related to work). If she wants to comment something about me, she will not talked about it directly. She will tell it indirectly such as using an article, story, examples. I hate it when she twist & turn.
God: In the business world, everything should be black & white to avoid any mis-communication. It is to protect yourself. If compared with superiors from other departments, she is a better superior because she will not only talk and no action. She tried to minimize hard feelings/ sensitiveness by not commenting you directly.
3) Too many rules/ strict discipline from superior.
Devil: She trained her subordinates like training a soldier who has to obey her orders. In meetings, we are like students where she make us read and memorized article. No chatting with colleagues during working hours. She does not allowed us to talked on the phone for personal matters. I deals with local and international suppliers but I have no access to internet.Also, my phone line can only call local & Singapore numbers. All incoming/ outgoing mails to have to be filtered by my superior. I feel restricted and all my actions are being watched.
God: HOD from other departments likes to send their subordinate to my department for training because they thinks that my superior has the ability to train discipline employees. This is because my department staff are all well discipline.
Solutions:
1) Think positive
Every job is tough. For everything that I hate/ dislike, try to think the positive area. I will be more happy.
2) Make work fun/ interesting
Try to make the job/ task fun by making it interesting.
3) Find a new job
If everything else fails. The best thing to do is to find a new job. Maybe a new environment & work responsibilities me.
1) Not doing what a buyer do such as negotiating with suppliers, source for new suppliers, ....etc
Devil: A buyer should monitor inventory and source for materials. However, I have no authority to monitoring stock inventory. Buyer should also negotiate with suppliers on price, payment terms, and etc. I requested training in negotiation skills but I was rejected and informed that negotiation is done by the Directors in our company. It makes me feel that I am just doing administrative work in a purchasing department.
2) No progress & doing menial tasks like paperwork, follow up, pass documents, ...etc
Devil: After working for 3years, started to feel boring with the work. I need to do small things like photocopy, pass documents, ...etc. There are also times where she needs to prove her superiority. She will ask me to do some minor thing like collect documents from A but then she will pass the documents to B who sit just a little bit further away from A. She can actually do it herself.
God: She is the boss. She has the authority to request me to do things. No matter how minor/ trivial it is. She is using the delegation skills efficiently.
3) Dislike superior
Devil: Everything is email, email & email. I'm just sitting next to her and she still needs to email to me simple messages. She even emails when she ask for help to take away food. I understand that important messages have to be in black&white but sometimes also need to speak/ talk. Please don't expect everyone will face the PC all the times. I begin to hate/ dislike her when she tell us (subordinate) not to do A, B, C..etc. But we saw her do A, B, and C. Example is she commented if her subordinate talked on the phone for more than 10minutes but she herself can talked on the phone for 1 hour (not related to work). If she wants to comment something about me, she will not talked about it directly. She will tell it indirectly such as using an article, story, examples. I hate it when she twist & turn.
God: In the business world, everything should be black & white to avoid any mis-communication. It is to protect yourself. If compared with superiors from other departments, she is a better superior because she will not only talk and no action. She tried to minimize hard feelings/ sensitiveness by not commenting you directly.
3) Too many rules/ strict discipline from superior.
Devil: She trained her subordinates like training a soldier who has to obey her orders. In meetings, we are like students where she make us read and memorized article. No chatting with colleagues during working hours. She does not allowed us to talked on the phone for personal matters. I deals with local and international suppliers but I have no access to internet.Also, my phone line can only call local & Singapore numbers. All incoming/ outgoing mails to have to be filtered by my superior. I feel restricted and all my actions are being watched.
God: HOD from other departments likes to send their subordinate to my department for training because they thinks that my superior has the ability to train discipline employees. This is because my department staff are all well discipline.
Solutions:
1) Think positive
Every job is tough. For everything that I hate/ dislike, try to think the positive area. I will be more happy.
2) Make work fun/ interesting
Try to make the job/ task fun by making it interesting.
3) Find a new job
If everything else fails. The best thing to do is to find a new job. Maybe a new environment & work responsibilities me.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Blame MYSELF or BAD LUCK?
I have more than 8 years driving experience. I never got involved in an accident that needs to come out of the vehicle to negotiate with the driver. I get a new experience today and I am going to remember what I learned from it.
It is a hot afternoon and I am driving back home from work. The traffic is bumper to bumper and I am just one street away from my home. I will reach my destination in another 1 minute. A few policemen were blocking the road to my home and I am looking at them to find out the reason. The car in front moved forward, so I changed my gear and move forward too. Little did I noticed that the car in front suddenly stopped and I can't stopped in time because I was looking to my right. It was too late and I heard a loud "BANG". My car had kissed the bumper of the front car.
My heart nearly stopped and I was terrified. The front car stopped at the road side and I followed. As I come down of the car, I keep scolding myself for not paying full attention while driving. I looked at my front bumper and there's no scratches. I felt relieved.
As I walked over to the car which I bumped earlier, the male driver looks familiar. He is a friend of my friend's friend. He also realized the same thing. I looked at the rear bumper and did not noticed any scratches, broken lights, ...etc. I felt relieved instantly. I was thinking maybe because the distant is too close that's why the impact is very minor. But the male driver said there's something on top of the bumper and it was not there earlier. He said need to send it for painting which cost from RM10-RM100++. He added that the car rear looks okay now but maybe something already broken inside which will only appear later after he passed bumper. He asked if I have any recommended foremen to check on it. He asked for my phone number and gave it without thinking twice because I thought he is a friend of my friend's friend.
I argued that there's no scratches, "kemek" or broken lights, ...etc. The area which he said needs to paint is not noticeable. Usually people will just treat the case as closed and drive away. But this driver insisted that it needs painting & checking to ensure no internal damage to the car. (Inside I think this guy is very calculative). Failing to persuade him, I called my father and he arrived at the scene 5 minutes later.
My father also argued that there's nothing wrong with the car rear. The area that he said needs painting will be unnoticeable after do some polishing. Since he didn't moved from his request, my father offer him a small amount of money but he resist claiming that he don't want the money but just want to make sure the car is okay. Failing to convince him, my father asked the driver to follow him to nearby foreman for checking.
After looking at the area, the foreman just put on something on it. Aha! It looks like nothing happened before and he only charged us RM10. When I reached home, I agreed it is my carelessness but I blamed it on bad luck. It never struck my head that I was the one who caused the accident not luck. I should not blamed/ justify it as bad luck.
What I learned from this incident:
1) Must pay 100% attention when driving.
2) Must not simply get out of the car when involved in accident. Must make sure the other person does not look like got other intention (ex. robbing money, steal car, ....etc)
3) Do not provide IC, phone number, .....etc to the other person even if he's a friend of my friend's friend. Informed them to report to police or go to the nearest foreman for assistance.
4) Do not blame bad luck when something bad happened. Must take responsibility of what I've done (not paying full attention).
5) How to handle if happens again.
a) If the car is badly damaged, apologized softly.
b) If the car is in good condition, just informed the car is okay and leave immediately. Do not negotiate anymore. If driver refuse to let you go, just talked louder than the other party (I witnessed an accident where the wrong party talked loudly and repeatedly refused to accept its her fault and she wins the argument. No compensation is paid).
It is a hot afternoon and I am driving back home from work. The traffic is bumper to bumper and I am just one street away from my home. I will reach my destination in another 1 minute. A few policemen were blocking the road to my home and I am looking at them to find out the reason. The car in front moved forward, so I changed my gear and move forward too. Little did I noticed that the car in front suddenly stopped and I can't stopped in time because I was looking to my right. It was too late and I heard a loud "BANG". My car had kissed the bumper of the front car.
My heart nearly stopped and I was terrified. The front car stopped at the road side and I followed. As I come down of the car, I keep scolding myself for not paying full attention while driving. I looked at my front bumper and there's no scratches. I felt relieved.
As I walked over to the car which I bumped earlier, the male driver looks familiar. He is a friend of my friend's friend. He also realized the same thing. I looked at the rear bumper and did not noticed any scratches, broken lights, ...etc. I felt relieved instantly. I was thinking maybe because the distant is too close that's why the impact is very minor. But the male driver said there's something on top of the bumper and it was not there earlier. He said need to send it for painting which cost from RM10-RM100++. He added that the car rear looks okay now but maybe something already broken inside which will only appear later after he passed bumper. He asked if I have any recommended foremen to check on it. He asked for my phone number and gave it without thinking twice because I thought he is a friend of my friend's friend.
I argued that there's no scratches, "kemek" or broken lights, ...etc. The area which he said needs to paint is not noticeable. Usually people will just treat the case as closed and drive away. But this driver insisted that it needs painting & checking to ensure no internal damage to the car. (Inside I think this guy is very calculative). Failing to persuade him, I called my father and he arrived at the scene 5 minutes later.
My father also argued that there's nothing wrong with the car rear. The area that he said needs painting will be unnoticeable after do some polishing. Since he didn't moved from his request, my father offer him a small amount of money but he resist claiming that he don't want the money but just want to make sure the car is okay. Failing to convince him, my father asked the driver to follow him to nearby foreman for checking.
After looking at the area, the foreman just put on something on it. Aha! It looks like nothing happened before and he only charged us RM10. When I reached home, I agreed it is my carelessness but I blamed it on bad luck. It never struck my head that I was the one who caused the accident not luck. I should not blamed/ justify it as bad luck.
What I learned from this incident:
1) Must pay 100% attention when driving.
2) Must not simply get out of the car when involved in accident. Must make sure the other person does not look like got other intention (ex. robbing money, steal car, ....etc)
3) Do not provide IC, phone number, .....etc to the other person even if he's a friend of my friend's friend. Informed them to report to police or go to the nearest foreman for assistance.
4) Do not blame bad luck when something bad happened. Must take responsibility of what I've done (not paying full attention).
5) How to handle if happens again.
a) If the car is badly damaged, apologized softly.
b) If the car is in good condition, just informed the car is okay and leave immediately. Do not negotiate anymore. If driver refuse to let you go, just talked louder than the other party (I witnessed an accident where the wrong party talked loudly and repeatedly refused to accept its her fault and she wins the argument. No compensation is paid).
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Previous Decisions Shapes The Future
Everyone has the power to CHOOSE.
I AM what I am NOW because of my previous decisions.
As a student, I have been given the choice to study Science OR Art stream. I have no idea which one to choose because I don't know what is my real ambition and I don't really understand what's the importance of it. But, I chose Science stream because I heard that I can change to Art Stream if I don't like it later. This is because Science student can change to become Art student but not the other way. Later, I decided to maintain the decision because my friend is in the same class.
Then, I finished my SPM but I still don't know what I want. What course should I study and which college? I just collected brochures which I thought is very hot subject. I was thinking about which course could earn more money and no need to work very hard. I was confused and lost. Finally, I decided to choose to study Form 6. Because I still don't know what I want and my parents can't afford the expensive course fees. I am happy these 2 years because I have more friends & I just need to study and worry nothing else.
After finished Form 6, I need to choose again. I have picked up 5 courses at which university? At this stage, I still don't know what I want to study and where. At last, I chose Computer Science/ Information Technology in a local university not because I like the subject but because I know I have bigger change to be chosen. Yes, I was indeed offered my first chosen subject.
After 3 years of hard studying, I finally graduated. I have to choose a job/ career. I landed my first job in a multinational IT company but I'm doing back-end support job called administrator. Why I am not in IT field? I give excuses like the constant need to upgrade myself if I'm in the IT sector by learning those programming language. I justify that I prefer a 9 to 5 job than a job that needs to do overtime/ overnight. Or am I afraid that I'm not good enough. I survived in university because it focus on theoretical not practical. By memorizing the textbook and help from friends, I am able to score the tests. I even almost get 1st class honour.
I nearly become jobless 6 months after my first job because the contract ends. I was then offered another job in the same company because of my department head's referral. A few months later, I start to search for new job. Is it because of the insecurity I felt due to bad experience in my first job? Or because I don't like the job that I was doing? Or because I finally able to get offer for a permanent job after the tiring process of interviews after interviews.
I am now working as a buyer. Why do I chose to accept this new job even though the salary is lower than my previous position. I rationalized that the position of a buyer has more prospect than an ordinary administrative executive. I need to learn some skills in order for me to land on other job in the future. I know that I must take the challenge and CHANGE.
In summary, I realised that I am what I am today because of what I decided in my earlier years.
I AM what I am NOW because of my previous decisions.
As a student, I have been given the choice to study Science OR Art stream. I have no idea which one to choose because I don't know what is my real ambition and I don't really understand what's the importance of it. But, I chose Science stream because I heard that I can change to Art Stream if I don't like it later. This is because Science student can change to become Art student but not the other way. Later, I decided to maintain the decision because my friend is in the same class.
Then, I finished my SPM but I still don't know what I want. What course should I study and which college? I just collected brochures which I thought is very hot subject. I was thinking about which course could earn more money and no need to work very hard. I was confused and lost. Finally, I decided to choose to study Form 6. Because I still don't know what I want and my parents can't afford the expensive course fees. I am happy these 2 years because I have more friends & I just need to study and worry nothing else.
After finished Form 6, I need to choose again. I have picked up 5 courses at which university? At this stage, I still don't know what I want to study and where. At last, I chose Computer Science/ Information Technology in a local university not because I like the subject but because I know I have bigger change to be chosen. Yes, I was indeed offered my first chosen subject.
After 3 years of hard studying, I finally graduated. I have to choose a job/ career. I landed my first job in a multinational IT company but I'm doing back-end support job called administrator. Why I am not in IT field? I give excuses like the constant need to upgrade myself if I'm in the IT sector by learning those programming language. I justify that I prefer a 9 to 5 job than a job that needs to do overtime/ overnight. Or am I afraid that I'm not good enough. I survived in university because it focus on theoretical not practical. By memorizing the textbook and help from friends, I am able to score the tests. I even almost get 1st class honour.
I nearly become jobless 6 months after my first job because the contract ends. I was then offered another job in the same company because of my department head's referral. A few months later, I start to search for new job. Is it because of the insecurity I felt due to bad experience in my first job? Or because I don't like the job that I was doing? Or because I finally able to get offer for a permanent job after the tiring process of interviews after interviews.
I am now working as a buyer. Why do I chose to accept this new job even though the salary is lower than my previous position. I rationalized that the position of a buyer has more prospect than an ordinary administrative executive. I need to learn some skills in order for me to land on other job in the future. I know that I must take the challenge and CHANGE.
In summary, I realised that I am what I am today because of what I decided in my earlier years.
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